| My Christmas/Birthday List |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|12:23 am] |
Two testicles.
An identity.
To not feel empty, weak, walled-off, lazy, and tense.
Aspects of myself not marked by cowardice. |
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| amsterdam |
[Apr. 17th, 2008|11:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  oh so high | ] |
hello me. just writing tosee what it will be like when I read theis or h god theis is bull,shit. I am willingly surrenderimn to the powers of the special cakeswand whay do thy jenot wait like that enduien my headphones i thought where playing faraway music. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. An ynow, I'm already laughing at what i;mn trying tio write lkand i am not fixikng too manyt mistakes. my fingers feel like sausuagesj aej;aoijg wjyeses chraaahst this is goddamn funny!!!!!! o fsoucrse i will retain none of this in the morning, and i will wond3er exactly why i'm keeping this to myself as a memento of crunkness? Wait two hours so yhou canbe good 'n high. which I am right n ow. and whaddya know i'm back at emo worl,d itg took a lot of concentration to write this p0art pro;pedrly. i am alone on this trip, sure. but while i despaired in this status the cfirst couple of days, in the end I have come up with the right xstrategy to begin with: Find yourself in your soolitude in a strange place farawayh from homenthewhoare playing. naow. i think: yeah itg is. "nolw i'm a farmer and i;m diggin diggin diggin digggin diggin. nope, no driving in this state man. i love weed I need more special bbrownies or no no smoking any more for me. maybe occiasionally butg mostly i just like to take POT BROWNIES TWO HOURS BEFORE A BALLLIN' ASS SHINDIG BEGINS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KICK IN FOR A LITTLE WHILE. remember that Simba (it took me three tries to write that word correctly)a jkal;jkashhehhhhheehhehhe english are a buncvh of fops. caveman: ron perlman. inbrid hicks make up the deep south, ecept for the clolset racikst wow my attention span is short anyway i have decides d to ajjajjajjaj cure cure cure cure ucucuc wiggle my feet and i really can see the wsords being written on the page when theey are dragged away like you're in another worlda a;lkdjfo whehehehehehehhhhheeee it's all blurry and i have got tho share this i have discovered a new side of myself. these brownies are the key to my self-discovery i shoudl get one tomorrow before 1030 when the train to Praha leaves.
I will show this to someone someday and hear their squeals of laughter at my pussiness. seriously, 21 and this is the first time i'm legitimately stoned? That's pathetic, man. And you still didn't get to the absynthe or mushrooms. ONE step at a time here man! wanting is not thesame as needinfg yoyu bastargd. i'm pathetic bnut i've found the answer: marijusana!!!!!!! Yayyyyyy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2007|11:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Overkill" - Colin Hay | ] |
2006 is over. Good fucking riddance.
I'm not quite positive if this was the worst year of my life. I know that sounds really overdramatic, and maybe one of the bad years at Pine Point that I just don't remember well enough was worse. Hell, I had some bad times in 2005, what with all the colleges I auditioned for rejecting me and all the fear I went through regarding my friends and my future. But I feel like in these past years, I actually made an effort to get things done and improve my life and be involved. This past year, however, not much seemed worthwhile and everything was uncertain, and I was capable of little action. I constantly thought about why I felt so lonely and depressed and always came to the conclusion that it was all my fault, thereby making me feel steadily more worthless. And this was pretty much a solid year of that experience. That and my girlfriend leaving me, my future in acting being called into question, good friends I had known for years seeming distant and uncaring, potential new ones not giving a damn, overloading on work, several events that I had looked forward to being cancelled, and me coming dangerously close to totally losing credit for one of my courses (I'm still not out of the woods with that). I kept in touch with few people, I would lie in the fetal position on my bed for long stretches of time, and I don't think I've hated myself more than I did on the worst nights of 2006.
Certainly there were good things: being with my family, having Casey nearby for a long time, making great friends like Gabe, Liz, Sam, and Quinn, being in Vocal Minority, and the times I got to see the old Williams crowd. But I never appreciated those moments enough, and I was mostly concerned about what other difficulties were approaching. However, I'm on medication now, I'm feeling more confident, I've met a lot of fun new SLC people, and I have a thing going on with a girl at school. Not sure whether I'm going to stay or transfer; I might even be in London next year for the British Academy of Dramatic Art program if I don't blow another audition. I'm not even sure whether I'll really be happy in acting. Maybe I should get into music. But maybe that would be much worse.
I dunno. At least I'm certain that this will be a better year. And that I'm more prepared for whatever's coming. |
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| Gotta finish a paper I've put off for two weeks |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|11:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired but optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bartlet's amazing speech in "20 Hours in America." | ] |
Before I stop my power procrastination marathon and get down to business, I'd just like to state once again for the record
I LOOOOVE THE WEST WING SO MUCH.
That is all. |
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| I am now a complete recluse. |
[Oct. 17th, 2006|12:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Option 1: I force myself to do a complete 180, start thinking optimistically, be really outgoing, stop hiding myself, and find that I can live happily at Sarah Lawrence.
Option 2: I start taking medication which helps me gain confidence and allows me to live happily at Sarah Lawrence.
Option 3: I transfer the fuck out of here.
I really don't know what it is about SLC students. I mean some of them are incredibly fun, kind, and amazing, but I find that most are...I'm not really sure. They seem cold or aloof or condescending or preoccupied with the friends they already have so they couldn't care less if I stay or go. Or maybe that's just me because I had not so good experiences with a few random assholes and kept to myself because of it and missed out on the formation of some groups of friends that I could have been a part of. Then I think about the friends I do have here and back at home and elsewhere in the country. I haven't kept in touch with them because I'm scared of being hurt or screwing up. And also because I'm desperately trying to finish my work and keep my commitments and feel happy here. In this case, two out of three IS bad.
I mean, I am feeling a little better about acting (just a little, mind you). And I'm in Vocal Minority (the guys acapella group, for those who don't know). And I know I'm an intelligent, funny, likeable guy. But I no longer think that this is where I belong.
So in conclusion: Option 1 will be difficult as hell since it will require a complete personality overhaul. So I may just go directly for Option 2. And if that doesn't work out, then hello to Option 3. |
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| Let's just wait and see |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|10:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | David Gray | ] |
My latest therapist said some things that encouraged me, like pointing out that my low self-esteem exists largely because I'm still trying to find an identity for myself. I also stopped having a tough time thinking about Sarah after he said it was good for me to move on from a high school mindset and a relationship that involved some denial on both sides. My key difficulty is a lack of aggression, which I will work on, but if things don't improve, I guess medication will be the next option.
Going back to Sarah Lawrence this time seems scarier than last year. I know that I have a year under my belt and things could get much better and I've already made some wonderful friends there...but there were some pretty rough days last year. I remember feeling like I really was going to crack under the pressure of loneliness and worthlessness and jealousy. Then I would think that it was all my fault, and that would bring me down much further. I wonder if SLC will remain as unfriendly for me as it was for Casey. But I'm trying to be optimistic. It's a new year, I've got a single (although the smokers' picnic table is right outside my window), I'm going to get more involved in theatre this time, and maybe I can force myself to be more assertive. Who knows?
Anyhoo, that's all for now. Byes.
(Talking about BP's oil pipeline.)
Jon Stewart: Can't they repair this thing without shutting the whole thing down? Can't they use some sort of a shunt?
Rob Corddry: Sorry? Shunt, Jon? What is that one of the words you picked up at Sarah Lawrence College for quilting and ovulation? |
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| Valentine's Day Massacre |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|01:35 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Who are You" - The Who | ] |
One late night when we were all in bed
Someone in 6F lit a doobie near his head.
And when it fell in the garbage, he winked his eye and said,
"Gonna be a hot time in Hill House tonight."
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Actually, I have no idea what caused the fire last night. But anyway, it was almost midnight and I was trying to turn in early for once to get to my 9AM movement class. Suddenly, I hear a beeping noise that I hadn't heard before in the building, and somebody (I think it was Dylan) said, "Fire you guys! No joke." Until I saw the thick black smoke in our hallway, I was guessing that some asshole had just pulled the alarm. So wearing only boxers, shoes, and my bathrobe, I joined everybody else outside. We couldn't see any smoke coming from the sixth floor, and though I was pretty sure none of my valuables would get torched, it was a little worrisome. Getting out of the way of the firetrucks, we all got out of the parking lot and up to either the sports center or Slonim (I was in the sports center and saw the most awesome vacuuming machine in the pool. Mom and Dad totally need to get one of those before I come home for the summer). Anyhoo, people were allowed to come back after a little while, except to the sixth floor, so Gabe and I hung out in Cori and Jenna's room watching the firemen gather and argue below us. We also went straight away to setting up a new Facebook group for the survivors of this disaster. Actually, there wasn't much damage, our room is fine, and I had an excuse not to get up early today. Rock and roll! |
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| 10 Random Things (from Basil) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|12:37 am] |
Icon tribute to John Spencer. God rest his soul.
Anyway:
1) I finally got Sarah's christmas presents.
2) I've been a hardcore West Wing fan for four months.
3) The birthday celebration for me and Casey was a pantsless party in her honor (Don't worry; we had underpants on).
4) When I saw King Kong (awesome by the way), I figured out why the box office has been so low this year: loud, obnoxious, dim-witted audiences that won't shut the fuck up.
5) I am THIS close to becoming totally emo.
6) Great chocolate nearly always wakes me up.
7) My nose is big.
8) I'm getting more and more petrified about what's going to happen to me as a professional actor.
9) I REALLY gotta get into the city more often.
10) I may take yoga when I get back to SLC. |
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| well... |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|07:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  procrastinating | ] |
I've been gone for nearly two months. What's up with that?
I guess I have been busy trying to adjust. Unsuccessfully, it sometimes appears. The things that make me happy seem so trivial, and the negatives are way more prominent. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I just feel alone. I hold out little hope for the future. I've stopped listening to so much music. I had a lot of pain in my back when I was really stressing out, and it's back again. And I've been neglecting my friends from back home in an effort to make it here. So I apologize to all of you. Especially Sarah; I can't believe I neglect to communicate with you enough, even though I never stop thinking about you. I'm really sorry babe.
Anyway, it's not like my experience is TOTALLY miserable. I can see myself improving as an actor, I have made friends, and I have a few good times. I just...Well, I guess things will improve and I'll adjust and I'll be more content. I just wish that at least ONE person could have stopped gushing about how amazing college is and mentioned that there can be a tough transition period. If these are the best years of my life, somebody shoot me now.
So, to catch up briefly (because I have to go work on my conference project): The Underpants and Rocky went extremely well, though Sarah missed the first show when she visited, and the Rocky cast party was cancelled. Got most of my tech hours done on Trojan Women sitting around outside the theatre waiting around. Music has improved now that we've moved past the boring, formal music of the Baroque era. Theatre classes are all good except for Vocal, which I really hope I can drop because of singing lessons. In acting, I struggled immensely with David Ives' Time Flies, but it turned out okay and I'm now working on a True West scene. Had a mostly boring Thanksgiving break, except when I saw Sarah, and realize that I'm really in that state of limbo between home and college. Went to the New York Public Library with Liz and Quinn today. Casey is wonderful. This IS where I'm supposed to be. I've gotta lot of work coming up and I must do some now. Catch you later. |
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| Back on track |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|12:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel | ] |
For theatre this semester, I am one of the trannies in Rocky Horror, and I have a small part in Steve Martin's The Underpants. The play takes place in Germany, 1910, and I play an old prudish German scientist who suffers from constipation and Tourette's syndrome. I only appear in the last fifth of the play, but it's pretty fun nonetheless. The biggest problem is how these plays (and the tech credits I have to do) fuck up my evening schedule. I can probably only go home for two of the four October study days. But the shows go well, although the less I hear of The Time Warp, the better.
Still not social enough, but things are all right now. Vocal class was better than usual last week, Gateway to Theatre History and Mystic Chords history are decent classes, and I'm getting good singing and acting education. Except last time in acting, I ran into another conundrum like in Tom's classes, where I thought I was connecting or pursuing my objective or focusing and would then be told that I wasn't. Really not good for my self-esteem.
Right now I just need to be freed up spiritually. You know, have the willpower to not be lethargic and unsatisfied. I need to take advantage of everything at this place. I need to get some affirmation about my acting from somebody I trust (what else is new?) I feel like there's some great enthusiasm that I can be a part of once I get used to college.
Anyways, over and out.
P.S. - Why does George Lucas insist not only on making lame prequels to tarnish the legacy of Star Wars, but also fuck up the original trilogy by unnecessarily changing so many things for the DVD editions? You're really bummin' me out George. |
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| Goddamn me |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomily insane | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Samson"- Regina Spektor | ] |
Please allow me to rant for a little while before I update properly:
I could have spent time today socializing. Or getting a lot of homework done. Or maybe FINALLY going on AIM, like I keep promising myself I'll do. So guess how my day goes? I wake up, lie around and read for a while, go to voice lessons, have lunch, come back home, go online again, do laundry, clean the bathroom, eat snacks, listen to music, get dinner, read more of An Actor Prepares for tomorrow, go online again, lie around. Now I'll be forcing myself to read these fucking history packets before going to bed at around midnight so I can be awake enough to endure the Vocal Theatre class at 9AM tomorrow. I will have had almost zero human contact or productive time spent today.
What in hell is wrong with me? I'm so reluctant to make the effort to talk to anyone, especially keeping in touch with my friends, and I continue this practice despite the deplorable state it leaves me in. No wonder I've gotten feelings that I don't have enough attention from others or relationships or meaning in many other people's lives; if that's true at all, it's completely my fault. My time on the computer could have been spent catching up on life with the people I love. Instead, I browse the web looking at meaningless shit I've often seen before, like old LJ posts and videos and pictures. I looked back on my own LJ archives and realized just how superficial, trite, and incomplete most of them are, unless I was having a bad day when I wrote them. And look: I'm having such a day right now and I'll probably go back to my isolationist policies after this.
Am I just too lazy to have conversations? Was I so used to being lonely when I was younger that I just continue my behaviors? Do I have a fear of most other human beings? If you're thinking "I can't believe that Ian's just becoming aware of these tendencies now," then guess what? So am I.
Someday I'll stop being so slothful and barking mad.
(NOTE: I actually do socialize here at SLC, and I have made friends. Perhaps my introverted nature was overstated in this entry, because I can be fairly outgoing. But I still can't believe I don't make the effort to talk to most of you guys anymore. I will sometime, but once again: What is wrong with me?) |
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| What the hell is my schedule?!? |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|07:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | woozy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ani DiFranco - Gravel | ] |
You know what's even more fun than going to an anti-war demonstration? Going to an anti-war demonstration late after waiting out in the cold from 5AM to 7AM because the damn busdriver picked up another group, and missing Cindy Sheehan speak! Whee!
But we got to DC anyway at around noon, and everybody split up. Casey and I walked through a crowd of about 200,000 people to the south of the White House where various activists and political figures were giving speeches on impeaching Bush and bringing the troops home. These are good topics to discuss, but after a while they get repetitive, especially if you're waiting to march ('Scuse me guys! You know that in the dictionary, under the word "redundant", it says "See 'redundant'"?) So most of the people began to walk sloooooooooooowly down the street for about an hour and a half, but we finally turned onto Pennsylvania Ave. and passed the White House. Still, it was a pretty exciting event. The best part was definitely when we passed a group holding protest signs with the traditional slogans, and one in the middle said "Republicans Against Bush." BIG cheer on that one. Sadly, Casey didn't come back on Saturday night, but I had a few people to talk to during the ride back.
The last few days have been the same old classes and get-togethers with the friends I'm making bit by bit. History is okay, acting has some pretty useful info for me, the vocal and movement classes meet at 9AM (UGH), and music looks like it could potentially be a nightmare. I mean Marty's a decent prof, but he can't energize us or interest us in all forms of classical music, and he mostly just lectures. I tried out for Rocky Horror and didn't get an official role, so I guess I could be a tranny if it doesn't eat up my time. Although I doubt that I'll get into The Underpants; they didn't seem too impressed by my audition.
Again, I start getting that feeling that everything is flawed in my existence and I'll never have a comfortable life. I haven't since I was in second grade. Acting's becoming more and more of a chore for me, but at this point I doubt that I'll be able to do anything else artistic in my professional life. A normal career would make me want to claw my eyes out, but will acting be twenty times worse? I tell myself that I'll feel better once I get my schedule sorted out for this week and the weeks after, but I remind myself that every time I'm feeling secure and happy, I'm just deluding myself from the true nature of the world. Fuck.
College is pretty cool; it's life that really sucks. |
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| In 12 hours, I'll be marching on DC |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|10:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | can't sleep...miss bus | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You Oughta Know -Alanis Morisette (Alanis Unplugged version) | ] |
My weekend with Sarah was lovely, as expected. Casey's dad drove us up to catch the T into Boston, and we hung around Harvard for a while as I got the final component of Sarah's birthday present: Tim Burton figurines (I also got her a sketchpad and the glorious soundtrack to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). When Casey and I parted ways for the weekend, I went back to MIT and waited in the rain for a bit before spotting Sarah and her adorable new haircut. It kinda reminded me of Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction but without the bangs. So we walked back to catch the bus to Wellesley, and I finally saw her new room and roommate Kate, who actually seems MORE reclusive than Emani and Michaela. The next morning we hung out at Wellesley, bought flowers for Sarah's "Little Sister", then realized that I couldn't catch an early enough bus into Boston to make it back to Sarah Lawrence in time for "Promenade" callbacks. So we went to MIT and saw Howl's Moving Castle, which was fun and a little confusing. I said goodbye to my girlfriend at 8 PM and got on a four hour busride.
Talk about UGH. The films were Around the World in 80 Days (proof that Disney is going the way of the dinosaur) and Starsky and Hutch. I was fortunately able to escape the big, talkative guy named Tommy from South Carolina, who did not prove a good example for people trying to eliminate the southern stereotype of ignorance and bland folksyness. Got back to SLC late and woke up the next morning and went to the callbacks and left in the middle of the opening exercises. It was just not my kind of musical. More of a weird, Brechtian, 1920's, British piece of fluff with music and performance styles that didn't appeal to me. Oh well, I'm grateful for the callback and my acting class is going extremely well. It's just that if I'd known this, I could have spent another night with Sarah. Or even without knowing it, we could have been adventurous and slept on the floor at MIT so I could catch the early bus. Sarah, I promise that next time, we'll have more hours together. I love you.
Anyhoo, classes are basically going well. Though music is still stuck in the philisophical artistic studies and the basic musical terms, history seems much more dynamic, even though I feel like one of the less learned people in the class. My vocal and movement classes are too early in the morning, but Daniel's a fun guy (the other one, however, is just annoying). I dunno, I guess I'm just waiting for things to click in and get more exciting here, although I had a nice time last night wandering around with Brittney and Emma. We'll see. |
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| Black squirrel!...Oh wait, it's just a cat |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|09:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | just woke up | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 3rd planet - Modest Mouse | ] |
Here's my new schedule:
MON. 11-12:30: Western Music 2-3:30: Mystic Chords of Memory
TUES. 9-11: Movement for Theatre 11-1: Gateway to Theatre (History) 3:30-5:30: Actor in Action
WED. 11:30: Voice lessons
THURS. 9-11: Vocal for Theatre 11-12:30: Western Music 2-3:30: Mystic Chords 3:30-5:30: Actor in Action
FRI: 9:30-11: Gateway to Theatre (Tech)
Much to my chagrin, I did not get into Vocal Minority. Apparently they were going crazy with auditioning so many guys and I was seriously considered, but there were too many other Tenor II's who tried out. (Sam and I are thinking of getting the rejected guys together for another acapella group). But I auditioned successfully for the voice lessons, and I got a callback for Promenade. I didn't even select that for a possible show or do a singing audition; maybe they just heard from the music department or something. So now I have just about no idea when or if THOSE rehearsals will be coming up, I still haven't pursued a PE credit or a job, and I'm not sure how much I can keep myself from overspending. But I'm getting settled in much better.
Finally got a chance to talk to Sarah after her birthday. She seems to be having a ball at MIT when she goes there for classes. It looks like I'll be able to get transportation there with Casey on Friday! YAY! Hope I arrive in time for the haircut she's been planning for so long.
Last night I was semi-kidnapped by Makenna and hung out at her awesome appartment. We had a great time talking, but I couldn't eat too many of the mashed potatoes she made because my stomach was still weak (The meat they serve in Bates dining hall may just drive me to semi-vegetarianism). Then Casey came over and met my friend Elisabeth, who has apparently gone to Mocha Motts a lot. We watched Finding Neverland, which even on a second viewing gets you pretty verklempt (tear). Talk amongst yourselves.
I'm out folks. Talk to you soon. |
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| Newsflash |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|12:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bat Boy (they performed it here last year) | ] |
I'm on Facebook! Many of you know this, but those who have not gotten your account yet gotta friend me right away when you do.
Also, the week before last was filled with a lot of anxiety, depression, and fear for me. I had trouble getting past the "getting to know you" phase with a lot of students, I felt like I would never have any idea how to do anything right here, and I miss my friends and family. So to those who have had comparable feelings, don't feel like you're alone here even if your roommate is having a ball and becoming extremely popular. And if you are that popular, happy student...how the fuck do you do it?
But yeah...things are picking up around here. My vocal audition (you can get voice lessons if you're a theatre third) went fairly well I think. I sang "Heaven on their Minds" and it sounded decent, but I still have no idea what's going on there. After the tedious interviewing of teachers and sorting out the schedule, I finally got all my classes, which are:
Mon. + Thurs. - First Year Studies: Landmarks in Western Music
- Mystic Chords of Memory (a history class about American legends and cultures between the Revolution and the Civil War)
Tues. + Thurs. - The Actor in Action
- Vocal + Movement Class
Tues. - Gateway to Theatre: History
Either Wed. or Fri. - Gateway to Theatre: Tech
The first week of classes was mostly getting overview/procedural stuff out of the way. Hopefully they'll pick up the pace pretty soon. Last night was the poetry and potluck benefit for the hurricane victims, which was set up by my suitemate Dylan and our friend Aja. It was a pretty spectacular Def Poetry Jam with singing, rapping, poetry, and spirit. The night before that I wrote a long letter to my mom which made me cry. I spend way too much time in my room, but when I'm out and about, I've met cool people like Brittney (a short-haired, cynical girl from Arizona who teases me good-naturedly about being straight), Casey's roommate Liz, her friend Quinn, Quinn's roommate Amanda, my host from last year Dan, the amazing Makenna, and all of their friends. There are of course plenty of people I haven't mentioned yet, but remember I'm still getting my head straight here.
It's upsetting to see that Casey got stuck with a subpar political science program here and wants to leave. I hope she can at least have a few really good experiences and make the most of what she has this year. Love you Casey!
I'm getting lunch now. I will be in touch with y'all soon. |
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| Sally Larry College |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|07:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aladdin Sane - David Bowie | ] |
I swear I'll update more as soon as my laptop gets Internet access.
Anyway, I am here. But first thing's first: there was a man who came to this college last night. A famous man. A funny man. A man well established as a great entertainer of our generation. And he was...The Daily Show's Rob Corddry!!! He got a videotaped intro from Jon Stewart ("The girls that Rob hangs out with...I won't say they're underage, but...), and then he came out to riff on Sarah Lawrence, drugs, fake news, and give us a behind the scenes look at how they do interviews. Apparently, people really are willing to go along with the questions thrown at them on The Daily Show most of the time, just because they want their bit of screen time (and sometimes they really appreciate what they saw and can't perceive themselves looking like morons).
I got him to sign my copy of America the Book, and I left feeling blessed.
Now to backtrack a few days. I was pretty lazy around my house before Friday, when Mom and I shopped for just about all the supplies I still needed. That was when I first felt a little fearful of leaving home. My mom was handling it pretty well most of the time, but we both couldn't believe that tommorow would be the day. We had Mom's lovely pizza for dinner that night, and Sarah came over and we watched MST3000 together, which was excellent. We then sat together on the couch for an eternity, both contemplating my new distance. I love her so, and I really hope that the public transportation will work out okay for us. Mmmmmmm.
After an almost sleepless night, Mom, Dad, Lydia, and I packed everything up and I said a quick goodbye to Alex and we left. Lydia and I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail on the way up, and when we got there, it didn't take me too long to get signed in before we began the ordeal of unpacking. I met my roommate Sam (who resembles Roger Daltrey with his locks of yellow hair) and my suitemates Brian and Dylan, all pretty cool guys. Sam and I lucked out in getting one of the biggest rooms in the building, which kinda makes up for the long walk, many flights of stairs, and unreliable elevators. I brought my bike, but it's a little screwed up right now. Eventually I met up with Matt Ellis and then CASEY!!! It is amazing to spend so much time with her, but unfortunately, she isn't too enthused about the political science program here. It's not very broad and it doesn't have the contemporary concentration she wants. I hope this doesn't mean she's going very far away next year if she has to leave.
Saturday night I hung out with several freshmen, saw a magician perform, and went to bed late. Sunday was a day of meetings in Reisinger auditorium, as the coming week seemed more and more scary with all the teachers we would have to interview and the decisions and forms we would have to complete. Monday was my First Year Studies class: Landmarks in Western Music, which looks to be none too shabby (except for the paper we have due next week). After Rob Corddry, Casey and I went to the Black and White ball for a little while (both of us wearing some of her clothes, in which I looked quite pretty). Then we hung out with a really cool new friend of ours named Sunny before I collapsed into bed.
Today, I've been trying to deal with all the things I have to do. Call the allergist about getting set up locally for my injections, interview teachers, audition for voice lessons, get online from my room, figure out what the hell's going on with the theater classes, finish a paper on artistic reproduction, make friends, and avoid total exhaustion. My family's two hours away, my girlfriend three and a half hours away, my friends are scattered all over the United States, and I have no idea what's coming.
I'm sure it'll get better and I'll eventually be not so intimidated, but right now I need somebody to hold me. |
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| Ah "Pippin"...good times |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|10:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Nightmare Before Christmas | ] |
Maine was lovely, what with seeing the cousins again, going swimming, playing whiffleball (quite poorly), and having a cultural discussion with Spencer the final night which got a little heated (it was initially about noble human nature vs. corrupt society, then it was about hip-hop culture). So when I got back, I found out to my delight that Matt P. was having his partay Friday night. So I crashed at his place, saw people like Corey, Andrew, Marion, Cyrus, Jess B, and Maddy again (Whee!), and remembered how soon we're all going to leave each other. Trying not to dwell on that, I got in on a couple of drinking games and learned an important lesson: Coors Light is actually human urine. Anyway, we chatted, danced, played Twister, and tried to play Manhunt, but no luck there 'cause we were all ready to pass out. I only wish Sarah had been able to come. The biggest highlight of the evening was Corey, dressed up in a cow suit, on helium, singing "Over the Moon" from RENT. I was rolling on the floor and my sides came this close to totally exploding.
Saturday was Lydia's shindig, where I got to hang with Ben, Basil, Wyatt, Cathleen, Lydia, and, surprisingly, Danielle! Lydia's friends were muy cool, and I looked quite gay wearing my orange '70s shirt from Martha's Vineyard and dancing nonstop to Michael Jackson and Rock Lobster. I guess Basil isn't alone in being a blip on the gaydar of at least a few people. We all stayed up until four in the morning listening to The Decembrists, Bat Boy, and many others while discussing politics, our lives, and mostly sex. Again, people were missed, such as Helena, Casey, Liz, and Nick.
So we had to leave Lydia's far too soon on Sunday so I could catch a ferry to Block Island where the family was staying. Beautiful location, absolutely perfect beach, but the house was like a three-story shed. It had splintery, bare wooden walls, uncomfortable beds, and a policy of almost total water conservation. Fortunately, I got back to civilization the next day. And by fortunately, I mean unfortunately, because not only did I have to endure two days in a row of painful skin tests at long allergist appointments, but Sarah has still not been available.
I leave on Saturday, so naturally, I am far from having my shit together |
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